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	<title>On the Journey &#187; sin</title>
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	<description>Cultivating Lived Faith</description>
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		<title>Morality Part 5: What Makes a Sin a Sin</title>
		<link>https://www.diennodemarest.com/2014/05/07/morality-part-5-what-makes-a-sin-a-sin/</link>
		<comments>https://www.diennodemarest.com/2014/05/07/morality-part-5-what-makes-a-sin-a-sin/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2014 19:16:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Julie Dienno-Demarest]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Morality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[morality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mortal sin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[veinal sin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://momiliesandmore.com/?p=918</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It was a Theology Q&#38;A session on a retreat &#8211; a safe environment.  Participants were encouraged to write down their questions on any faith-related topic and submit them anonymously.  The group was encouraged to raise hands and ask additional questions if needed.  This was their time.  There were over 30 retreatants, plus the team; women ranging from their early [&#8230;]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="https://www.diennodemarest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/arrows-missed-target-300x123.png" class="attachment-medium wp-post-image" alt="Arrows missing target" /></p><p>It was a Theology Q&amp;A session on a retreat &#8211; a safe environment.  Participants were encouraged to write down their questions on any faith-related topic and submit them anonymously.  The group was encouraged to raise hands and ask additional questions if needed.  This was their time.  There were over 30 retreatants, plus the team; women ranging from their early 20&#8217;s to their early 80&#8217;s.  When the topic of sin came up, you could feel the emotional intensity in the room.  As each question was answered, seven more hands shot up asking more questions.</p>
<p>When people ask,<strong>&#8220;Is it a mortal sin if&#8230;&#8221;</strong>more often than not, they are<strong> asking out of fear.</strong>  Somewhere along the line they learned that ___ was a mortal sin, and if you did [it], you were going to hell.  Some ask the question while thinking about their own behavior; others ask out of concern for a loved one.</p>
<p>Struggling with the concept of sin&#8211;and the fear of hell that accompanies it&#8211;can really damage a person&#8217;s faith, which is why this post is so important.</p>
<p>In <a title="Morality Part 1: It’s About Relationship" href="http://www.diennodemarest.com/2014/04/23/morality-part-1-its-about-relationship/" target="_blank">Morality Part 1</a>, I explained that <em>When we say something is a “sin” it&#8217;s because it damages our relationship with God; not because it is “breaking the rules.”  </em>It damages our relationship because it is either directly aimed at hurting God or at hurting those whom God loves.  And as <a title="Morality Part 4: Form, Inform, and Follow" href="http://www.diennodemarest.com/2014/05/05/morality-part-4-form-inform-and-follow/" target="_blank">Morality Part 4</a> explained, it&#8217;s only a sin if you know what you&#8217;re doing is wrong and you are doing it of your own free will.</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-921" src="http://www.diennodemarest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/sin.png?w=570" alt="Sin" width="570" height="294" /><br />
<span id="more-918"></span><br />
<div class="column column1_3 "><img class="aligncenter wp-image-924 size-thumbnail" src="http://www.diennodemarest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/archery-target.png?w=150" alt="Archery Target" width="150" height="131" /></div><div class="column column2_3 column-last">In the Old Testament, sin is defined in two ways.  The first is in archery terms: &#8220;<strong>missing the mark</strong>.&#8221;  For instance, when our actions are guided by selfishness rather than <a title="Love, Love, Love" href="http:/www.diennodemarest.com/2011/08/14/love-love-love/" target="_blank">agapic-love</a>, they miss the mark.</div><div class="cleared"></div><br />
<div class="column column1_3 "><img class="aligncenter wp-image-925 size-thumbnail" src="http://www.diennodemarest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/heart.png?w=150" alt="Heart" width="150" height="146" /></div><div class="column column2_3 column-last">The second way sin is described in Scripture is as a &#8220;<strong>hardness of heart.</strong>&#8221;   For example, when we are indifferent to the suffering of others&#8230; when we just don&#8217;t care enough to help someone in need, we are hard-hearted.</div><div class="cleared"></div></p>
<p>Catholic Tradition takes these concepts from Old Testament along with the words of Jesus in the Gospels and the writings of St. Paul to expand our understanding of sin.</p>
<p>In the Penitential Rite, we pray:</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-922" src="http://www.diennodemarest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/penitential-rite.png?w=570" alt="Penitential Rite" width="570" height="389" /><br />
Notice how this prayer recognizes that <strong>sin</strong> is always committed with <strong><em>intent </em></strong>(<em>through my fault</em>&#8230;).   Additionally, the words of this prayer acknowledge both the <strong>sins of commission</strong> (doing something wrong) and the <strong>sins of omission</strong> (not doing something that we know we should&#8217;ve done) &#8211; and this happens in thoughts, words, and actions.  In all cases, we recognize that there are varying degrees of seriousness:</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-923" src="http://www.diennodemarest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/sin-venial-and-mortal.png?w=570" alt="Sin - Venial and Mortal" width="570" height="178" /></p>
<p>Venial sins include the smaller, less serious acts of sinfulness that often result from the bad habits or laziness. (<em>I know I should pray, but I don&#8217;t.  I know I shouldn&#8217;t swear, but I do.</em>)  These are important to recognize because over time they weaken our relationship with God.</p>
<p>As the degree of seriousness increases, Catholic Tradition describes mortal sin.  Translated literally, this is a sin which brings a &#8220;deadly&#8221; or &#8220;mortal&#8221; blow to one&#8217;s relationship with God.  A mortal sin is a complete, deliberate rejection of God.  This is a big deal.  We&#8217;re not just talking about any sin, here.  We&#8217;re talking about a relationship-breaking sin.  For it to be considered a &#8220;mortal sin&#8221; it:</p>
<ol>
<li>Must involve &#8220;<strong>grave matter</strong>&#8220;</li>
<li>Must be done with <strong>full knowledge</strong>.</li>
<li>Must be done <strong>deliberately</strong>, with <strong>full freedom</strong>.</li>
</ol>
<p>It is difficult to broadly and definitively classify anything as a mortal sin because the only one who knows a person&#8217;s honest level of knowledge, freedom, and intent is God.  For instance, consider one of the most disturbing &#8220;jobs&#8221; during the Holocaust.  The <a href="http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/Sonderkommando.html" target="_blank">Jewish Virtual Library</a> explains that at Auschwitz and several other concentration camps,<br />
<div class="info-box note-box" >
				&#8220;the Nazis established the <em>Sonderkommando</em>, groups of Jewish male prisoners picked for their youth and relative good health whose job was to dispose of corpses from the gas chambers or crematoria. Some did the work to delay their own deaths; some thought they could protect friends and family, and some acted out of mere greed for extra food and money these men sometimes received. The men were forced into this position, with the only alternative being death in the gas chambers or being shot on the spot by an SS guard.&#8221;</div>Here we are certainly dealing with a grave matter done with full knowledge, but the prisoners&#8217; lack of freedom eliminates the culpability.</p>
<p>Culpability, the degree to which people are morally responsible, can diminish if a sin is committed under duress, whether that pressure comes from oneself or others.  Then there are psychological wounds, such as the PTSD of war veterans or mental illness, that likewise limit one&#8217;s freedom and diminish responsibility.</p>
<p>Is it possibly for a person to commit a mortal sin?  Absolutely.  That possibility is a reflection of the depth of our human freedom.  However, not every decision is made with full knowledge, full freedom, and deliberate intent.</p>
<p>Moreover, you know what the remedy is for mortal sin?  Reconciliation.  Mess up really bad?  Take responsibility, seek forgiveness, and make amends.  God just wants us to repent and return to him.<br />
<div class="info-box success-box" >
				&#8220;Which one of you, having a hundred sheep and losing one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the one that is lost until he finds it? When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders and rejoices. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, &#8216;Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.&#8217; Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who need no repentance.&#8221;  (Luke 15:4-7)</div>When Jesus tells the parable of the Lost Sheep, it might be helpful to understand that most shepherds don&#8217;t leave the 99 to chase after the one.  But God does.  Because that&#8217;s just the kind of loving, merciful, life-giving God he is.</p>
<p>Mortal sin is not the end.  Rather, it points to a deep, serious need for reconciliation.</p>
<p>At this point in the Theology Q&amp;A, someone inevitably asks:<br />
<div class="info-box note-box" >
				<em><strong>If God is all-loving and forgiving, then how can there be anyone in hell?</strong></em></div>For one thing, we <em><strong>are</strong> </em>held morally accountable for our actions (and inactions).<br />
<ul class="custom-list"><li><i class="fa fa-circle"></i> For forming our conscience and increasing our desire for good.</li><li><i class="fa fa-circle"></i> For informing our conscience and developing our moral wisdom.</li><li><i class="fa fa-circle"></i> For following our conscience and avoiding sin.</li></ul>For more on how judgment works with an all-loving, forgiving God, read this post on <a title="Not to be a Pollyanna, but…" href="http://www.diennodemarest.com/2014/01/15/not-to-be-a-pollyanna-but/">Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory</a>.</p>
<p>As I wrap up the series of posts on Morality, think about your own attitudes towards sin:<br />
<ul class="custom-list"><li><i class="fa fa-arrow-right"></i> When it comes to the topic of moral responsibility and sin, what do you struggle with?</li></ul></p>
<hr />
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		<title>Morality Part 4: Form, Inform, and Follow</title>
		<link>https://www.diennodemarest.com/2014/05/05/morality-part-4-form-inform-and-follow/</link>
		<comments>https://www.diennodemarest.com/2014/05/05/morality-part-4-form-inform-and-follow/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2014 00:49:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Julie Dienno-Demarest]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Morality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conscience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[follow]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[form]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[inform]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moral responsibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Board of Directors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://momiliesandmore.com/?p=898</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When I do laundry, after washing and drying, I&#8217;ll transport the clean clothes to the couch.  The couch and coffee table are my folding zone, a task I&#8217;ll tackle while watching Netflix, talking on the phone, or visiting with a close friend (one whom I am secure enough to expose my family&#8217;s laundry to).  The reality is that the folding [&#8230;]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="https://www.diennodemarest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/PearTreel-300x94.png" class="attachment-medium wp-post-image" alt="Pears in a Tree" /></p><p>When I do laundry, after washing and drying, I&#8217;ll transport the clean clothes to the couch.  The couch and coffee table are my folding zone, a task I&#8217;ll tackle while watching Netflix, talking on the phone, or visiting with a close friend (one whom I am secure enough to expose my family&#8217;s laundry to).  The reality is that the folding does not happen immediately.  Often the couch is buried amid several loads of clean laundry.  Yes, I&#8217;ll get to it.  Eventually.  The thing is that my kids will want to actually use the couch to sit on, despite the piles of clean laundry.  Sometimes I take a little too long to get around to folding; I take responsibility for this.</p>
<p>Other times, like today, I&#8217;m within the margin of acceptable laundry-folding time. Regardless, the clean laundry got knocked off the couch by one of my kids.<br />
<div class="info-box note-box" >
				Me: Who knocked the laundry basket off the couch and onto the floor?</p>
<p>Max: I fink I did it.  I&#8217;m sowwy, Mommy.  I didn&#8217;t mean to.</div><br />
I know that he didn&#8217;t intentionally, maliciously knock my laundry on the floor, but still.  He could&#8217;ve been more careful.  And even if it was an accident, he could&#8217;ve fixed it.</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter wp-image-915 size-medium" src="http://www.diennodemarest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/photo.jpg?w=300" alt="photo" width="300" height="300" /></p>
<p>While laundry on the couch isn&#8217;t one of the most pressing moral issues of our time, this conversation with my 6 year-old does provide a framework for examining moral responsibility.<br />
<span id="more-898"></span><br />
First, let&#8217;s recall where we left off: <a title="Morality Part 3: Forming Your Conscience" href="http://www.diennodemarest.com/2014/05/02/morality-part-3-forming-your-conscience/" target="_blank">Morality Part 3</a> explained the lifelong process of <strong>forming conscience.</strong></p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-910" src="http://test.diennodemarest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/conscience-formation1.png?w=570" alt="Conscience Formation" width="570" height="353" /></p>
<p>In my <a title="Morality Part 3: Forming Your Conscience" href="http://www.diennodemarest.com/2014/05/02/morality-part-3-forming-your-conscience/" target="_blank">explanation of forming conscience</a>, I gave a lot of attention to the idea that a person must <em>genuinely </em>choose what is good.  However, saying a person must decide to do what is good <em><strong>for oneself</strong></em> is not the same thing as saying that a person makes moral decisions <em><strong>by</strong> </em><strong><em>oneself</em></strong>.</p>
<p>This is where <strong>Informing Conscience</strong> comes in.  If forming conscience is about wanting to be a good (<em>not bad</em>) person, having an informed conscience is about making right (<em>not wrong</em>) choices.  Quite simply, it&#8217;s about making informed decisions.</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-914" src="http://www.diennodemarest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/conscience-definition-form-and-inform-2.png?w=570" alt="Conscience Definition Form and Inform 2" width="570" height="215" /></p>
<p>How do we make informed moral decisions?  The Catechism explains that we do this by consulting with three areas of our life: self, others, and God.<br />
<div class="info-box note-box" >
				To make informed moral decisions, we strive &#8220;to interpret the data of experience and the signs of the times assisted by the virtue of prudence, by the advice of competent people, and by the help of the Holy Spirit.&#8221; (<a href="http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s1c1a6.htm#III" target="_blank">CCC, 1788</a>)</div><br />
<strong>1. Self &#8211; (&#8220;<em>assisted by the virtue of prudence</em>&#8220;)</strong>  Quite simply: stop and think.  Mindful self-examination helps in discernment, whether or not we actually write out that pro and con list.  Here, we take the time to differentiate between wants and needs&#8230; between immediate gratification and long-term impact&#8230;</p>
<p><strong>2. Others &#8211; (&#8220;<em>assisted by&#8230;the advice of competent people</em>&#8220;)</strong>  Inviting the wisdom of others is not the same thing as allowing &#8220;superego&#8221; to decide for us.  In fact, think of this as your own <strong>Personal Board of Directors</strong>.  While unsolicited advice will be offered far and wide, you find yourself talking through difficult decisions with a select group of people.   Each member of this board is must be personally appointed by you as a closest, trusted adviser; no applications (or self-nominations) are accepted.  It&#8217;s not that the people on your Board tell you what to do (because you may not always follow their advice), but you do seriously consider whatever they have to say.</p>
<p>That said, it is important that we neither appoint strictly &#8220;yes-men&#8221; nor superegos that micro-manage our decisions.  Our Personal Board of Directors should give us insight into our darker selves, but do so with selfless agape-love.</p>
<p>Alongside your Personal Board of Directors, the independent research of a respected third party should be considered when making difficult decisions.  The voice of &#8220;competent people&#8221; extends to the sciences, particularly the social sciences.</p>
<p><strong>3.  God &#8211; (&#8220;<em>the help of the Holy Spirit</em>&#8220;)</strong>  In making moral decisions, we must pray&#8211;inviting God into the discernment process.  Additionally, part of being Catholic means that we value the 2000+ years of wisdom from Scripture and Tradition, which is one of the big ways that the Holy Spirit speaks to us today.</p>
<p>There is a temptation to approach the teachings of the Church and the role of the Magisterium as the voice of superego.  For some of us, that means we blindly follow an unexamined faith.  For others, it means we ignore the voice of the Holy Spirit.  Neither of these approaches reflects having a truly informed conscience.</p>
<p>What we don&#8217;t want to do is end up uninviting the Holy Spirit from our Personal Board of Directors.  The key is to earnestly listen to the wisdom of the teachings of the Church.  If we find ourselves in disagreement with the Church, we owe it to our faith to explore this disconnect.  Sometimes it&#8217;s a matter of understanding <em>why</em> the Church teaches what it does.  It&#8217;s not ok for a person to simply <em>dismiss</em> a teaching that they don&#8217;t agree with; rather, this is a reason for deeper prayer, study, and exploration in faith.<br />
<ul class="custom-list"><li><i class="fa fa-arrow-right"></i> What is your decision making process?  In what way does it align with the self-others-God explanation of CCC, 1788?  In what way does it differ?</li><li><i class="fa fa-arrow-right"></i> Who is on your Personal Board of Directors?  Have you appointed any &#8220;yes-men&#8221; or superegos?</li><li><i class="fa fa-arrow-right"></i> What insights do you gain from thinking about informing conscience in this way?</li></ul></p>
<h2>Follow Your Conscience</h2>
<p>Catholic Teaching insists that we have an obligation to follow our conscience, but stated more precisely, we have an <span style="color:#339966;">obligation to follow our formed and informed conscience</span>.</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-903" src="http://www.diennodemarest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/conscience-form-inform-follow.png?w=570" alt="Conscience Form Inform Follow" width="570" height="179" /></p>
<p>It is in this context that it makes sense to return to a discussion about <strong>moral responsibility and sin</strong>, because it is our conscience that enables us to take responsibility for our actions (CCC, 1781).</p>
<h3>How can we say something is &#8220;wrong&#8221; if you&#8217;re following your conscience?</h3>
<p>Faced with a moral choice, our conscience can either make a right judgment or a wrong one.  Sometimes, we will be following our conscience and still end up making a mistake, which Catholic tradition calls &#8220;<strong>erroneous conscience</strong>&#8221; (CCC, 1786, 1790).   Actually, there are different levels of assessment here:</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Invincible Ignorance</strong> &#8211; if a person honestly did not know something was wrong (and there is not a reasonable expectation that they <em>should have known</em>), then it is considered <strong>a true accident</strong>.
<ul>
<li>Although the person may have done something wrong, they are not in violation of their conscience.</li>
<li>It is expected that they will make amends for any damage done, but they are not morally responsible. (See CCC, 1793)</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li><strong>Vincible Ignorance</strong> &#8211; if a person claims that they didn&#8217;t know something was wrong, but when we logically assess the situation, we can safely say that they <em>should have known better</em>.  In the court of law, we call this <strong>negligence.</strong>
<ul>
<li>When a wrongdoing falls under this umbrella of  &#8220;<em>willful ignorance,</em>&#8221;  the person bears moral responsibility, but it is still not considered a &#8220;sin&#8221; (CCC, 1791-1792).</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li><strong>Sin</strong> &#8211; For something to be considered a sin, it must be a deliberate decision to violate our conscience. Therein, we must have both:
<ul>
<li>Knowledge that it is wrong</li>
<li>Freedom to choose</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ol>
<p>There are times when we know what is wrong, but we do it anyway.   St. Augustine tells a story from his adolescence (in Book 2, Chapter IV of his <em>Confessions</em>) when he stole some pears.  He knew it was wrong; he admits that he was neither hungry, nor poor when he did it.  He stole them for the thrill of stealing &#8211; simply because it was forbidden.<br />
<div class="info-box success-box" >
				There was a pear tree close to our own vineyard, heavily laden with fruit, which was not tempting either for its color or for its flavor. Late one night &#8212; having prolonged our games in the streets until then, as our bad habit was &#8212; a group of young scoundrels, and I among them, went to shake and rob this tree. We carried off a huge load of pears, not to eat ourselves, but to dump out to the hogs, after barely tasting some of them ourselves. Doing this pleased us all the more because it was forbidden. Such was my heart, O God, such was my heart &#8212; which thou didst pity even in that bottomless pit. Behold, now let my heart confess to thee what it was seeking there, when I was being gratuitously wanton, having no inducement to evil but the evil itself. It was foul, and I loved it. I loved my own undoing. I loved my error &#8212; not that for which I erred but the error itself. A depraved soul, falling away from security in thee to destruction in itself, seeking nothing from the shameful deed but shame itself.<a title="Book 2, Chapter IV of St. Augustine's Confessions" href="http://www.ourladyswarriors.org/saints/augcon2.htm" target="_blank">*</a></span></div><br />
We all have a pear-tree story of our own; a time which we were clearly choosing to do something that was in violation of our conscience.</p>
<p>The next post on Morality will explore and unpack some of the traditional vocabulary surrounding sin.  For now, consider the following:<br />
<ul class="custom-list"><li><i class="fa fa-arrow-right"></i> Can you relate to these three categories of &#8220;doing something wrong&#8221; &#8211; invincible ignorance (accident), vincible ignorance (negligence), and sin (deliberate decision)?  Which do you struggle with most and why?</li></ul></p>
<hr />
<p>&#8220;Pears Growing on Pear Tree © Depositphotos.com/Digifuture&#8221;</p>
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		<title>Morality Part 1: It&#8217;s About Relationship</title>
		<link>https://www.diennodemarest.com/2014/04/23/morality-part-1-its-about-relationship/</link>
		<comments>https://www.diennodemarest.com/2014/04/23/morality-part-1-its-about-relationship/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 23 Apr 2014 18:25:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Julie Dienno-Demarest]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Human Dignity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Morality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[morality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://momiliesandmore.com/?p=817</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The other day at dinner, I tell my boys that I am looking forward to teaching a class that evening on Morality&#8211;a favorite topic, which I hadn&#8217;t taught in a while.  My 6 year old asks: I pause, since I usually begin by acknowledging that most of us presume morality is about following a set of rules, and it&#8217;s not&#8230; it&#8217;s [&#8230;]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="https://www.diennodemarest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Morality_relationships-550x237.png" class="attachment-medium wp-post-image" alt="Morality_relationships" /></p><p>The other day at dinner, I tell my boys that I am looking forward to teaching a class that evening on Morality&#8211;a favorite topic, which I hadn&#8217;t taught in a while.  My 6 year old asks:<br />
<div class="info-box note-box" >
				&#8220;Mommy what is mowality?&#8221;</div><img class=" wp-image-844 size-medium alignright" src="http://www.diennodemarest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/img_1199-e1398277167944.jpg?w=263" alt="Friends on a hammock" width="263" height="300" /></p>
<p>I pause, since I usually begin by acknowledging that most of us presume morality is about <em>following a set of rules</em>, and it&#8217;s not&#8230; it&#8217;s about relationship. But in that moment I was challenged to accurately and succinctly describe it in a way that my 6 and 7 1/2 year old would understand.</p>
<p><br/><br/><br />
<div class="info-box note-box" >
				&#8220;Morality is about what&#8217;s right and wrong, and why.&#8221;</div><br />
Without missing a beat, he tells me:<br />
<div class="info-box note-box" >
				&#8220;Oh, Mommy!  But you teach me and my brudder about that evewy day!&#8221;</div><br />
I want my kids to be good people, so yes, every day I am concerned with the decisions they make and developing their character&#8211;whether they&#8217;re playing with friends, following through on responsibilities around the house, working at school, or paying attention to the needs of the world around them. Morality is concerned with what&#8217;s right and wrong, and why, but it&#8217;s not about rules; it&#8217;s about relationship.</p>
<h2>Relationship</h2>
<p>The reason <strong>Why </strong>something is right or wrong has everything to do with <em><strong>relationship</strong></em>.<br />
<ul class="custom-list"><li><i class="fa fa-arrow-right"></i> Think about three of your closest friends.  What are some of the &#8220;unspoken rules&#8221; that close friends follow to maintain a healthy relationship?  List these relationship-guiding rules out: <em>trust, honesty, care and concern for one another&#8217;s well-being&#8230; what else would you add?</em></li><br /></ul><br />
<strong>Who:</strong> From the perspective of Christian Morality, we are talking about living a good life in relationship with God.  What makes something moral or immoral is <b><i>whether it strengthens or damages our relationship with God</i></b>.  When we say something is a “sin” it&#8217;s because it damages our relationship with God; <i>not</i> because it is “breaking the rules.”</p>
<p><strong>How: </strong>So how do we strengthen our relationship with God?  By loving, honoring, and respecting God and all of God&#8217;s Creation.</p>
<p>The number one overarching principle that guides our approach to being in right relationship is a respect for the value, worth, and special dignity within each person as a child of God, created in the image and likeness of God.  Catholic Social Teaching refers to this as <a href="http://new.usccb.org/beliefs-and-teachings/what-we-believe/catholic-social-teaching/life-and-dignity-of-the-human-person.cfm" target="_blank"><strong>respect for human dignity</strong></a>, which finds its Scriptural roots in Genesis.<br />
<div class="info-box success-box" >
				God created humankind in his image; in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)</div><br />
I love how Richard Rohr explains the depth of what human dignity means:<br />
<div class="info-box success-box" >
				&#8220;You are a son or daughter of the Good and Loving God. The Divine Image is planted inherently and intrinsically within you. You cannot create it, you cannot manufacture it, you cannot earn it, you cannot achieve it, you cannot attain it, you cannot cumulatively work up to it. Do you know why? Because you already have it! That is the core of the Gospel&#8221; (<a href="http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Richard-Rohr-s-Meditation--Collapsing-into-the-Larger-Life.html?soid=1103098668616&amp;aid=SZvXjpOEWkU" target="_blank">Adapted from <em>Dying: We Need It for Life</em></a>)</div><br />
As Christians, we are called to respect human dignity with the care and concern of divine, <a title="Love, Love, Love" href="http://www.diennodemarest.com/2011/08/14/love-love-love/" target="_blank"><em>agape </em>love</a>.<br />
<div class="info-box success-box" >
				This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.(John 15:12)  </div><br />
<img class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-841" src="http://www.diennodemarest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/20090528_066.jpg?w=570" alt="20090528_066" width="570" height="380" /><br />
When we put together the <strong>Who</strong> and the <strong>How </strong>of morality, we can see that <em>living a good life in relationship with God</em> has three dimensions:</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Interpersonal</strong>&#8211; respecting the human dignity of others, which is demonstrated by <em>how we treat one another</em>.</li>
<li><strong>Personal</strong> &#8211; respecting one&#8217;s own human dignity, which is demonstrated by <em>how we develop our internal quality of character</em></li>
<li><strong>Transcendent</strong> &#8211; respecting God, which is demonstrated by <em>practicing the <a title="Somewhere Along the Line" href="http://www.diennodemarest.com/2014/02/12/somewhere-along-the-line/" target="_blank">virtue of</a></em><a title="Somewhere Along the Line" href="http://www.diennodemarest.com/2014/02/12/somewhere-along-the-line/" target="_blank"><i> faith</i></a>.</li>
</ol>
<p>The Commandments, Beatitudes, and Virtues help flesh out the <strong>What</strong> of Catholic moral teaching with more specifics, but if we don&#8217;t begin with that understanding of being in right relationship with oneself, others, and the God who created us and loves us, then our approach to morality <em>will</em> be limited to simply &#8220;following the rules.&#8221;</p>
<p>In the next post, I&#8217;ll discuss the role of conscience and moral responsibility.  For now, consider how you think about morality:<br />
<ul class="custom-list"><li><i class="fa fa-arrow-right"></i> What attitudes or assumptions do you bring to a discussion of morality?  Are they helpful or limiting?</li><li><i class="fa fa-arrow-right"></i> Think about your relationship with yourself, with others, and with God.  In what ways do you see <em>love</em> and <em>respect for human dignity</em> guiding your behavior in those relationships?  Where do you succeed in practicing this &#8220;respect&#8221;?  Where do you struggle?  Is there one area that you feel called to work on improving?</li><br /></ul></p>
<hr />
<p>&#8220;Social media network © Depositphotos.com/Maridav&#8221;</p>
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