It was a Theology Q&A session on a retreat – a safe environment.  Participants were encouraged to write down their questions on any faith-related topic and submit them anonymously.  The group was encouraged to raise hands and ask additional questions if needed.  This was their time.  There were over 30 retreatants, plus the team; women ranging from their early 20’s to their early 80’s.  When the topic of sin came up, you could feel the emotional intensity in the room.  As each question was answered, seven more hands shot up asking more questions.

When people ask,“Is it a mortal sin if…”more often than not, they are asking out of fear.  Somewhere along the line they learned that ___ was a mortal sin, and if you did [it], you were going to hell.  Some ask the question while thinking about their own behavior; others ask out of concern for a loved one.

Struggling with the concept of sin–and the fear of hell that accompanies it–can really damage a person’s faith, which is why this post is so important.

In Morality Part 1, I explained that When we say something is a “sin” it’s because it damages our relationship with God; not because it is “breaking the rules.”  It damages our relationship because it is either directly aimed at hurting God or at hurting those whom God loves.  And as Morality Part 4 explained, it’s only a sin if you know what you’re doing is wrong and you are doing it of your own free will.

Catholic Tradition takes these concepts from Old Testament along with the words of Jesus in the Gospels and the writings of St. Paul to expand our understanding of sin.

In the Penitential Rite, we pray:

Notice how this prayer recognizes that sin is always committed with intent (through my fault…).   Additionally, the words of this prayer acknowledge both the sins of commission (doing something wrong) and the sins of omission (not doing something that we know we should’ve done) – and this happens in thoughts, words, and actions.  In all cases, we recognize that there are varying degrees of seriousness:

Venial sins include the smaller, less serious acts of sinfulness that often result from the bad habits or laziness. (I know I should pray, but I don’t.  I know I shouldn’t swear, but I do.)  These are important to recognize because over time they weaken our relationship with God.

As the degree of seriousness increases, Catholic Tradition describes mortal sin.  Translated literally, this is a sin which brings a “deadly” or “mortal” blow to one’s relationship with God.  A mortal sin is a complete, deliberate rejection of God.  This is a big deal.  We’re not just talking about any sin, here.  We’re talking about a relationship-breaking sin.  For it to be considered a “mortal sin” it:

1. Must involve “grave matter“
2. Must be done with full knowledge.
3. Must be done deliberately, with full freedom.

It is difficult to broadly and definitively classify anything as a mortal sin because the only one who knows a person’s honest level of knowledge, freedom, and intent is God.  For instance, consider one of the most disturbing “jobs” during the Holocaust.  The Jewish Virtual Library explains that at Auschwitz and several other concentration camps,

Culpability, the degree to which people are morally responsible, can diminish if a sin is committed under duress, whether that pressure comes from oneself or others.  Then there are psychological wounds, such as the PTSD of war veterans or mental illness, that likewise limit one’s freedom and diminish responsibility.

Is it possibly for a person to commit a mortal sin?  Absolutely.  That possibility is a reflection of the depth of our human freedom.  However, not every decision is made with full knowledge, full freedom, and deliberate intent.

Moreover, you know what the remedy is for mortal sin?  Reconciliation.  Mess up really bad?  Take responsibility, seek forgiveness, and make amends.  God just wants us to repent and return to him.

Mortal sin is not the end.  Rather, it points to a deep, serious need for reconciliation.

At this point in the Theology Q&A, someone inevitably asks:

• For forming our conscience and increasing our desire for good.
• For informing our conscience and developing our moral wisdom.
• For following our conscience and avoiding sin.

As I wrap up the series of posts on Morality, think about your own attitudes towards sin:

• When it comes to the topic of moral responsibility and sin, what do you struggle with?

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When I do laundry, after washing and drying, I’ll transport the clean clothes to the couch.  The couch and coffee table are my folding zone, a task I’ll tackle while watching Netflix, talking on the phone, or visiting with a close friend (one whom I am secure enough to expose my family’s laundry to).  The reality is that the folding does not happen immediately.  Often the couch is buried amid several loads of clean laundry.  Yes, I’ll get to it.  Eventually.  The thing is that my kids will want to actually use the couch to sit on, despite the piles of clean laundry.  Sometimes I take a little too long to get around to folding; I take responsibility for this.

Other times, like today, I’m within the margin of acceptable laundry-folding time. Regardless, the clean laundry got knocked off the couch by one of my kids.

While laundry on the couch isn’t one of the most pressing moral issues of our time, this conversation with my 6 year-old does provide a framework for examining moral responsibility.

First, let’s recall where we left off: Morality Part 3 explained the lifelong process of forming conscience.

In my explanation of forming conscience, I gave a lot of attention to the idea that a person must genuinely choose what is good.  However, saying a person must decide to do what is good for oneself is not the same thing as saying that a person makes moral decisions by oneself.

This is where Informing Conscience comes in.  If forming conscience is about wanting to be a good (not bad) person, having an informed conscience is about making right (not wrong) choices.  Quite simply, it’s about making informed decisions.

How do we make informed moral decisions?  The Catechism explains that we do this by consulting with three areas of our life: self, others, and God.

2. Others – (“assisted by…the advice of competent people“)  Inviting the wisdom of others is not the same thing as allowing “superego” to decide for us.  In fact, think of this as your own Personal Board of Directors.  While unsolicited advice will be offered far and wide, you find yourself talking through difficult decisions with a select group of people.   Each member of this board is must be personally appointed by you as a closest, trusted adviser; no applications (or self-nominations) are accepted.  It’s not that the people on your Board tell you what to do (because you may not always follow their advice), but you do seriously consider whatever they have to say.

That said, it is important that we neither appoint strictly “yes-men” nor superegos that micro-manage our decisions.  Our Personal Board of Directors should give us insight into our darker selves, but do so with selfless agape-love.

Alongside your Personal Board of Directors, the independent research of a respected third party should be considered when making difficult decisions.  The voice of “competent people” extends to the sciences, particularly the social sciences.

3.  God – (“the help of the Holy Spirit“)  In making moral decisions, we must pray–inviting God into the discernment process.  Additionally, part of being Catholic means that we value the 2000+ years of wisdom from Scripture and Tradition, which is one of the big ways that the Holy Spirit speaks to us today.

There is a temptation to approach the teachings of the Church and the role of the Magisterium as the voice of superego.  For some of us, that means we blindly follow an unexamined faith.  For others, it means we ignore the voice of the Holy Spirit.  Neither of these approaches reflects having a truly informed conscience.

What we don’t want to do is end up uninviting the Holy Spirit from our Personal Board of Directors.  The key is to earnestly listen to the wisdom of the teachings of the Church.  If we find ourselves in disagreement with the Church, we owe it to our faith to explore this disconnect.  Sometimes it’s a matter of understanding why the Church teaches what it does.  It’s not ok for a person to simply dismiss a teaching that they don’t agree with; rather, this is a reason for deeper prayer, study, and exploration in faith.

• What is your decision making process?  In what way does it align with the self-others-God explanation of CCC, 1788?  In what way does it differ?
• Who is on your Personal Board of Directors?  Have you appointed any “yes-men” or superegos?
• What insights do you gain from thinking about informing conscience in this way?

Follow Your Conscience

Catholic Teaching insists that we have an obligation to follow our conscience, but stated more precisely, we have an obligation to follow our formed and informed conscience.

It is in this context that it makes sense to return to a discussion about moral responsibility and sin, because it is our conscience that enables us to take responsibility for our actions (CCC, 1781).

How can we say something is “wrong” if you’re following your conscience?

Faced with a moral choice, our conscience can either make a right judgment or a wrong one.  Sometimes, we will be following our conscience and still end up making a mistake, which Catholic tradition calls “erroneous conscience” (CCC, 1786, 1790).   Actually, there are different levels of assessment here:

1. Invincible Ignorance – if a person honestly did not know something was wrong (and there is not a reasonable expectation that they should have known), then it is considered a true accident.
   • Although the person may have done something wrong, they are not in violation of their conscience.
   • It is expected that they will make amends for any damage done, but they are not morally responsible. (See CCC, 1793)
2. Vincible Ignorance – if a person claims that they didn’t know something was wrong, but when we logically assess the situation, we can safely say that they should have known better.  In the court of law, we call this negligence.
   • When a wrongdoing falls under this umbrella of  “willful ignorance,”  the person bears moral responsibility, but it is still not considered a “sin” (CCC, 1791-1792).
3. Sin – For something to be considered a sin, it must be a deliberate decision to violate our conscience. Therein, we must have both:
   • Knowledge that it is wrong
   • Freedom to choose

There are times when we know what is wrong, but we do it anyway.   St. Augustine tells a story from his adolescence (in Book 2, Chapter IV of his Confessions) when he stole some pears.  He knew it was wrong; he admits that he was neither hungry, nor poor when he did it.  He stole them for the thrill of stealing – simply because it was forbidden.

The next post on Morality will explore and unpack some of the traditional vocabulary surrounding sin.  For now, consider the following:

• Can you relate to these three categories of “doing something wrong” – invincible ignorance (accident), vincible ignorance (negligence), and sin (deliberate decision)?  Which do you struggle with most and why?

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I have my Grandmom’s chin.  So does my mother, my aunts and uncles, most of my cousins, and my younger son.  When I was a teen, I noticed that Grandmom’s sister, Aunt Helen has this same chin, and when she agrees with you on something, she sticks out that pointy chin, presses her lips together, and v-e-r-y slowly nods her head three or four times.  Then I noticed that Grandmom often does the same thing.  And so does my Mom.  And now I even do it.

There are things we pick up from our family of origin whether we like it or not.  Some of them are innocuous and make us smile.  Other times, it’s a bad habit–or worse an immoral behavior.

Superego has its place in forming our conscience, but they are not the same thing.  From childhood to adulthood, we must transition from an external voice of moral authority to listening to the inner voice of our conscience.  The Greek philosopher Plato explored this idea in both The Republic and Meno.  Recognizing that one’s conscience reflects genuine internal decision, he asked:

1. Stories and Examples

During childhood, especially birth to age 7, children are like sponges; they pick up on everything.  In this stage, we teach children to value what is good by through the stories and examples we expose them to.  The difficulty here is that kids will learn both the good and the bad.  While they may memorize the words to the bedtime story and the children’s songs that we intentionally select for their beautiful message, they will also pick up on the other words, phases, attitudes, and behaviors that they are exposed to which are not so “pure.”  And they will do this whether we like it–or intend for it–or not.

Dennis noticed that his 3 year old, Jakob was entering into that parroting stage: repeating, imitating, and copying whatever he saw or heard.  While Dennis was already cautious about what he was exposing his son to, this annoying and adorable behavior had him on high alert.  They were in the car, only driving 10 minutes down the road to the store, listening to XM radio when the DJ came on, mocking some celebrity: “In he comes wearing his [effing] cowboy hat and his [effing] cowboy boots–” and Dennis quickly and discreetly changed the station.  He parks the car, unbuckles his 3 yr old from the back seat, and Jakob announces, “Daddy! I have my [effing] cowboy boots, but I don’t have an [effing] cowboy hat.  When can I get an [effing] cowboy hat?”  Trying desperately not to overreact, Dennis explained to his super-hero loving son, “Those are not good words, buddy.  Good guys don’t use words like that; only bad guys.  You don’t ever hear Daddy using those words, do you?”  Jakob’s eyes widened, “No, Daddy!  You never use those words!”

• Think about your own experience with this part of moral formation.  
  • Stories: What were some of your favorite stories from childhood?  What was the moral or message?
  • Examples: What are some of the behaviors you learned from your family of origin?  Try to identify one positive, one negative, and one “amoral,” innocuous behavior.

 2.  Practicing Habits

In adolescence, the primary way in which we experience moral formation is by practicing good habits.  Athletic coaches, band and choral directors, and educators use certain exercises to help students practice “skills” to improve overall performance.  Parents require their teens to do certain chores.  We employ the phrase “practice makes perfect.”   The goal is to practice good behavior to the point that it becomes so ingrained that we can do it without thinking.

The 1984 movie The Karate Kid offers a great demonstration of this dynamic.  Daniel is a teenager who asks Mr. Miyagi to teach him karate.  As he arrives each day for what he hopes to be “training sessions,” Daniel is told he must first perform chores in very specific ways.   Frustrated with what he perceives as days of varied slave-labor, Daniel complains and confronts his teacher.  In turn, Mr. Miyagi shows Daniel that each specific action in the chores relates to a maneuver in karate.

Parents, coaches, and educators require teens to do certain tasks that are the building blocks of perfecting the practice of virtue.  This is why Catholic schools and Confirmation programs require students to do service hours.  The reality many of us face, however, is that we don’t just form good habits over the years; we also form bad ones.

• Think about your own experience with this part of moral formation.  
  • In what way can you relate to the Karate Kid example?  When were you required to practice an obscure skill that later proved useful?
  • Think of a bad habit that you worked to break free from; tell the process of re-learning.
  • What good, moral habits have you developed?  Who influenced you?

3.  Journey into Adulthood

The transition from adolescence to adulthood is marked by a maturity in which we go from doing things without thinking about them to examining and evaluating what we have been taught and intentionally choosing our path.  This third stage is not automatic; it is up to each person to decide whether or not to integrate what they have been taught into the person who they want to become (and by this, I mean the very best that each person is called by God to be).

Notice that this is called a “journey” into adulthood because it’s not a “once and done” moment of enlightenment.  This journey of growth and maturity happens over the course of time.  Unfortunately, some “grown-ups” have not taken that journey into adulthood at all, and instead continue to repeat the patterns (and mistakes) they inherited from their family of origin.  Most of us, however, are somewhere on that path.

Catholic Tradition calls this life-long process Formation of Conscience (CCC 1783-1785), which is ultimately a matter of improving our character and strengthening or increasing our desire for goodness.  As adults, it comes down to asking ourselves:

• Think about your own experience with this part of moral formation.
  • Identify one moral behavior from childhood and adolescence that you have examined, evaluated and mindfully chosen to continue.
  • Have there been any immoral behaviors from your formative years that you have intentionally chosen to eliminate?  
  • Do you struggle with lax conscience?  
  • Who or what helps you to increase your desire for goodness?

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In Morality Part 1, I explained how morality was about relationship, not rules.  Part 2 will begin to explore moral responsibility and the role of conscience.  But first, a word about mercy.

As I tried to moved beyond self-condemnation to being present to the rest of my day (and of course figuring out the details of getting the car fixed) I thought a lot about my own practice of showing mercy, especially with my kids.

I find that my ability to show mercy is directly related to the person’s ability to take responsibility.  We all make mistakes; I sure as heck do.

When we talk about Moral Responsibility in the context of our relationship with God, it is important to remember God’s mercy endures forever (Psalm 136:25).  Every person in Scripture that approaches Jesus having taken responsibility for their sins is granted mercy and forgiveness.

• Think about your own practice of mercy.  How well do you practice – or how much do you struggle with practicing – mercy?  Do you find it harder to be merciful with yourself or others?

The “Why” Matters

Part 1 explained that morality is about relationships.

Yes, morality is about the interpersonal “how we treat others” (the Golden Rule–do unto others, for sure), but it’s so much more than just external behavior.  In Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis explains that focusing exclusively on how we treat others leads us to thinking that so long as we do the right thing, it doesn’t matter much why we do it.  On the contrary, it’s that internal motivation–the personal dimension–that reflects the quality of our character.  And God is quite concerned with the quality of our character.

When the Catechism defines Morality in CCC, 1750, it speaks of three “Sources” to be examined and evaluated.  The morality of human acts depends on:

1. Object – WHAT – the action itself
2. Intention – WHY – the motivation or reason why the action was done
3. Circumstances – WHO, WHEN, WHERE, HOW – the context, all the contributing factors, as well as the consequences or outcome of the act

All three–object, intent, and circumstances–are examined when we evaluate whether an act is good or bad, and all three must be aligned with what is good for the act to be evaluated as moral.  It comes as no surprise that there are some acts (like terrorists murdering innocent people) that are objectively evil. But things get more complicated when people do good things for the wrong reasons.  Or worse, do something wrong so as to achieve some “greater good.”

The circumstances surrounding an act can contribute to increasing or diminishing the goodness or evil the act (for example, how much is stolen in a theft; how much damage is done). Circumstances can also increase or diminish the person’s responsibility (such as acting out of fear or under stress). However, circumstances themselves cannot change the moral quality of an action; they simply can not make an evil act good. (See CCC, 1756)

The Catechism is abundantly clear on explaining that it is never morally permissible to do evil to achieve good.  “The ends does not justify the means” (CCC, 1759).

• Can you think of an example from your own life when you…


• …did the right thing for the wrong reason?


• …did the wrong thing to achieve some greater good?

Conscience

So we know morality is about relationships, not rules.  And we know we need to consider the object, intent, and circumstances of an act when we evaluate whether or not it is good.  But how we decide what to do is a matter of conscience.  In fact, in all we say and do, we are obligated to follow our conscience. (CCC, 1778).

Conscience: here’s another aspect of Catholic tradition that is deeply misunderstood.  We talk about conscience being the “voice within” (CCC, 1776) and people either think of miniature angels and devils sitting on our shoulders or “hearing voices” akin to Jiminy Cricket in Disney’s Pinocchio.

A more helpful explanation of conscience sees it as both:

1. The inner desire for goodness
2. Choosing to do the right action

Yes, we are obligated to follow our conscience, but conscience is not what modern psychology calls our “superego.”

Superego is the voice of some external authority that says “I should do this because I’m supposed to.”  Conscience is when we genuinely say, “I desire what is good, and I choose to do what is right.”  When you hear the voice of your mother in your head telling to send that thank-you-note or spend time visiting that obnoxious aunt, that is not your conscience; that is your superego.

As the mother of two boys who are 6 and 7 /2 years old, I must emphasize that superego has its place in helping us to form our conscience, but it cannot be mistaken for conscience.  There are a variety of reasons why people do what is right.

Lawrence Kohlberg (1927-1987) was an American psychologist that developed the theory known as the Stages of Moral Development.  There are different, age appropriate reasons why people choose to do what is right.

Kohlberg explained that there are six stages of moral reasoning, which describe the different motivations people have for doing what is right.  Those in the first stage, Obedience and Punishment, do what is right simply to avoid punishment.  In the second stage, Individualism and Exchange, the rationale is self-centered and reward seeking.  Those in the third stage, Good Boy/Girl, are motivated by making a positive impression on people who matter to them.  In the fourth stage, Law and Order, the motivation is centered on following the rules.  Kohlberg says that most adults make their moral decisions in stages three and four.  Few people attain the fifth stage, Social Contract, whereby people consider the common good when deciding.  Even fewer reach the sixth stage, Principled Conscience.  It is in this stage which people choose to do what is right simply because it is the right thing to do.

• As you consider Kohlberg’s Stages for Moral Development, where would you place yourself?  Why do you find yourself doing what is right?


• What insight do you gain from thinking about Morality having Stages of Development?  Why is this significant to you?

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The other day at dinner, I tell my boys that I am looking forward to teaching a class that evening on Morality–a favorite topic, which I hadn’t taught in a while.  My 6 year old asks:

I pause, since I usually begin by acknowledging that most of us presume morality is about following a set of rules, and it’s not… it’s about relationship. But in that moment I was challenged to accurately and succinctly describe it in a way that my 6 and 7 1/2 year old would understand.

Relationship

The reason Why something is right or wrong has everything to do with relationship.

• Think about three of your closest friends.  What are some of the “unspoken rules” that close friends follow to maintain a healthy relationship?  List these relationship-guiding rules out: trust, honesty, care and concern for one another’s well-being… what else would you add?

How: So how do we strengthen our relationship with God?  By loving, honoring, and respecting God and all of God’s Creation.

The number one overarching principle that guides our approach to being in right relationship is a respect for the value, worth, and special dignity within each person as a child of God, created in the image and likeness of God.  Catholic Social Teaching refers to this as respect for human dignity, which finds its Scriptural roots in Genesis.

1. Interpersonal– respecting the human dignity of others, which is demonstrated by how we treat one another.
2. Personal – respecting one’s own human dignity, which is demonstrated by how we develop our internal quality of character
3. Transcendent – respecting God, which is demonstrated by practicing the virtue of faith.

The Commandments, Beatitudes, and Virtues help flesh out the What of Catholic moral teaching with more specifics, but if we don’t begin with that understanding of being in right relationship with oneself, others, and the God who created us and loves us, then our approach to morality will be limited to simply “following the rules.”

In the next post, I’ll discuss the role of conscience and moral responsibility.  For now, consider how you think about morality:

• What attitudes or assumptions do you bring to a discussion of morality?  Are they helpful or limiting?
• Think about your relationship with yourself, with others, and with God.  In what ways do you see love and respect for human dignity guiding your behavior in those relationships?  Where do you succeed in practicing this “respect”?  Where do you struggle?  Is there one area that you feel called to work on improving?

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